Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Kate Says

A few months back, Kate Moss, and her tummy (seen distinctly through some Topshop staple cotton tee), were spotted shopping in London, which sparked rumours that our favourite waif was pregnant with her second child.

Rumours that even her closest friends were sure were true. Because, how else could THE Kate Moss, superwaif-poster-child-of-heroin-chic, possibly look so, well, fleshed out?

Our Kate puts the whole preggers rumour to rest in February's issue of New York magazine. Turns out, she's just growing up. In a wannabe-article that's actually an aimless re-hash of a rambling chit-chat between our Kate and Mr. Topshop Sir Philip Green, Kate cites growing older as the reason for her body change.

She even goes as far to quip that she had never had to wear a bra until very recently. "Never worn a bra", ladies, and her boobs still look like this. In the case of us mere mortals, never wearing a bra until age 30-something will result in super saggy (and not to mention, flappy) sacks.

But, God being unfair aside, what I sense is this: "Kate is in. Kate is fat. So fat is in." Well, fat in relative terms. Really, Kate Moss has never looked this chunky. AND she's looking good. So yes, God IS unfair.

Look at those mini muffin-tops threatening to bloom into proper lurve-handles, over the waistband of her Topshop shorts. And those slightly pudgy arms across her new-found boobs. If Kate Moss is fat, then fat never looked so good.

If she can get away with being 5' 7" and walk the runway, and being caught on tape snorting cocaine as a single mum, earning obscene amounts of money for just looking into the camera, what is a few extra pounds? If ever there was anyone to stand up and say "fat is in", it would have to be Kate Moss.

And what about this flat-butt-beer-belly look? Super! I, personally, RAWK the flat-butt-beer-belly look. If this is in, I am SO in! Now, if Kate were to get some serious tattoos, and be photographed leaving her house in some ubiquitous men's T-shirt, with baggy 3-quarter cut-off jeans, and banged-up Birkies, I'll be HOT STUFF!

So, all you skinny-mini's out there, you guys ain't so hot anymore. It's time to give in to all those random munchies, start the supper-and-nightcap habit of chips and Heineken. And in no time, you too could be looking like Kate Moss.

(pics from New York magazine)


  1. ahahahaha.... love this post esp the last bits. saggy - check. muffintop - check. beer belly - check. still working on the flat butt ;)

  2. Ah, Jasmin, what say you we quit yoga right now? heh heh. ;) Or, actually just lots (and I means LOTS) of savasanna should do the trick...

  3. I find the "flat butt beer belly" comment a little offensive to be honest. I, along with many other women with apple body shapes have struggled with weight and body image and really don't need you likening Kate Moss' svelte figure to "flat butt beer belly"!

  4. Sorry that you found it offensive. But hey, it's all in the name of art. Don't take it personal. ;)